We left I-44 north of Springfield, Missouri, onto Missouri 65 South, on a friend’s recommendation that we see Branson, Missouri. Our friend told us that the drive south on Missouri 65, particularly the stretch south of Ozark, Missouri, heading toward Branson, Missouri, was especially picturesque....We had the time and looked forward to sampling a meal in this locally well-known and generally acknowledged tourist trap.
“Try Fuddrucker’s,” our friend suggested. To a great extent, our friend was right. The drive on Missouri 65, between Ozark, Missouri, and Branson, Missouri, was indeed picturesque. Fuddrucker’s was a . . . disappointment.
We arrived at Fuddrucker’s in Branson, Missouri, just as it was about to open @ 1100. You will have to take my word for the shenanigans and chaos that followed. Also, take note of the terminology used on Fuddrucker’s menu and what was actually served and you will begin to grasp why Fuddrucker’s and its parent company, Luby’s, announced liquidation proceedings on 08 September 2020. Given our experience, the liquidation cannot come too soon. Both chains are a scourge to diners and an insult to restauranteurs worldwide.
First, I’ll mention the noisy kitchen. It wasn’t busy chef-waiter/-busboy chatter. It was the chatter of the order-taking staff behind the counter. The owner/manager of this particular Fuddrucker’s had hired many young men who seemed to have been special-needs high-school students. At first I silently applauded the owner’s/manager’s community spirit, but, when I assessed other tactics used by the owner/manager, I began to suspect that his motive was more likely to save money rather than employ those who had a difficult time getting employment, i.e., barely competent labor on the cheap.
It was all very 19th-century Dickensian workhouse (a house in which able-bodied poor are maintained at public expense and compelled to labor) rules.
My companion and I chose these two items from the menu:
“A ⅓-lb hamburger. YOU TOP IT! Add a topping for a $1 each. Smokehouse bacon, fresh guacamole, chili, grilled mushrooms, grilled onions. $1 each Cheese: American, bleu, cheddar, swiss, provolone, pepper jack”
and
“A ⅔-lb hamburger. YOU TOP IT! Add a topping for a $1 each. Smokehouse bacon, fresh guacamole, chili, grilled mushrooms, grilled onions. $1 each Cheese: American, bleu, cheddar, swiss, provolone, pepper jack.”
The ⅓-pounder listed @ $5.39 and the ⅔-pounder listed @ $7.39. We each ordered onion rings @ $2.99 and soft drinks @ $2.19. That works out to $23.14, plus 10.75% local sales tax (tourist trap, remember!), brought the total to $25.63.
Expensive, but, bear in mind, Branson is a tourist trap and, even in the near dead of winter in the midst of a pandemic, it’s exorbitantly overpriced. Yet, based on the receipt generated by Fuddrucker’s cash register, the owner/manager seems to have gamed the system, i.e., inserted some electronic skullduggery into the cash register’s electronic reckoning program to bring the total to $31.96, including the 10.75% local sales tax. That’s a $6.33, a 24.7% increase for . . . nothing! A classic tourist trap rip-off.
That’s not all. The Branson Fuddrucker’s didn’t hesitate to add insult to financial injury.
The ⅓-pounder was ordered “well” and returned “well.” So far, so good, insofar as that hamburger is concerned. The ⅔-pounder was ordered rare and was returned “well.” Not only was it returned “well,” it was not even a ⅔-pounder. Fuddrucker’s used two ⅓-pounder patties, not a ⅔-pound patty, and Fuddrucker’s didn’t cook it properly. It reminded me of Henry Ford’s comment that buyers of his Model T could order “. . . any color so long as it was black.” This Fuddrucker’s allowed customers to order hamburgers to be cooked to any desired degree of doneness as long as it was “well.” Both our hamburgers tasted of charcoal.
Fuddrucker's charged $4.49 (NOT $2.99!) for each order of onion rings; including tax, the cost was $4.97. There were only five onion rings in each order, i.e., one moderately large onion ring and four relatively small-to-medium onion rings. Five. That’s $1 per onion ring. If that’s not a rip-off, then you’re a very, very, very tolerant, gullible fast-food victim.
Don’t be a victim. If you must go to Branson, avoid Fuddrucker’s at all costs. My guess it’ll be shuttered by spring, 2022, anyway. It not, it should be.
Now, if you think it cannot possibly get any worse, prepare yourself.
I went to the men’s room. There were two urinals in the men’s room, each mounted on the wall in a recess to afford a bit of privacy. I got as close as I could by straddling the urinal and my feet began to slide on the greasy floor. That’s how very, very, very poor the Branson Fuddrucker’s men’s room’s hygiene was. Absolutely pathetic.
Based on this experience, my guess is that operators of Fuddrucker's nationwide are caught in the Luby's/Fuddrucker's "liquidation" and the less scroupulous ones will resort to all sorts of trickery to dip unwanted into your wallet. Avoid the Branson Fuddrucker's at all costs, but, if you're wise, you'll also avoid Fuddrucker's and Luby's nationwide. Clearly integrity is not part of the franchise agreement.More
